I wanted to write you a little note on introverts and deep eye contact. This is another one of those little issues that seem to come up every now and then, and of course, no one ever talks about, like a lot of the wonderful things I see on this website that you would never see anywhere else. Basically, it is about eye contact without talking. Like if you are in the theatre or with some people at a party or a show or something, and two people just look at each other with deep meaning and love and no talking because it is across a room or in the middle of a show or something.

As an introvert, this kind of eye contact has always been so difficult for me. I can handle some eye contact when having a conversation but I'm talking about the silent kind of eye contact.

Like the other day we were at a party, and this one very extroverted lady and my mom (they are friends) kind of looked at each other for a long while with deep eye contact and the other lady (a young lady with her husband there) threw my mom a kiss. Who else could I ask about these stupid insignificant and ridiculous things!! You must think I am nuts??!! Do you have any thoughts on this? Is it an introvert thing in some way to not be able to have this silent kind of eye contact in that kind of a situation?

 

HERE'S DAVID'S ANSWER:

As soon as I stop laughing I will try to answer this...

Okay, personally I find that eye contact with anything other than a dog is absolutely impossible, so I am probably the wrong person to ask.

Introverted Intuitives are not supposed to stare at anything other than blank space. Eye contact might give the illusion that we are actually living in the real world.

It is also a signal for Extroverts to start siphoning off our energy.

Worse yet, they might actually be able to read out inner thoughts. 

This is exactly the reason why Intuitives can't communicate face to face with Sensing types. 

We Introverts avoid eye contact at any cost.  This problem is even worse when we deal with Extrovert Sensing types because they thrive on any form of human contact, especially eye contact. 

The more pronounced that human contact is, the more they believe what they hear.  They think that Intuitive types are either lying, confused or don't know what we are talking about. 

On the other hand, they make perfect administrators because they do exactly what their boss tells them to do and believe it to be the Gospel because of the eye contact thing.  This is why a true sociopath makes an excellent manager - they can look you in the eye and tell you anything and the typical S type (especially ES) believes them.  Group think!

Which leads us back to dogs.  Dogs have a better developed systems of Sensing than does the average S type.  They don't need eye contact to understand, so they accept it as a form of love not a means of siphoning of energy.

I am very happy that you reached out to find the answers you seek. 

David

David DeVaughn is an INFJ that got tired of fighting the corporate world and is now an entrepreneur living in Traverse City, Michigan.